![]() ![]() The “I’m sorry if”: “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” This kind of non-apology blunts the impact and directness of a true apology.You don’t have any compunction about telling me to calm down, and I don’t say anything.” The counter-attack apology: “I’m sorry for telling you to calm down when you were upset.I know I should have remembered to pick up the item you wanted at the store, but with the long line to get in and the one-way aisles and some people not wearing masks, I just forgot.” ![]() ![]() I didn’t mean to miss it, but I’ve been really stressed.” The half-hearted and excuse laden apology: “I guess I’m sorry that you were upset when I forgot your birthday.So, refusing to apologize may be an attempt to manage your emotions.ĭo you know that look that your dog gives you when you come home? When you just know that you’re going to walk into the next room to see ripped newspapers strewn all over the floor? Your dog’s head is hung, her tail is tucked, and her eyes say, “I’ve been a really bad dog, but I was bored and just playing around, so please don’t be mad at me!” If you’re a dog owner, you’ve probably seen this more than a few times.Ī non-apology falls under four categories: When we’ve had a heated disagreement with someone, we can be much more reluctant to apologize, especially when we think we haven’t “done anything wrong.” Also, the emotions that come with an apology can be difficult to experience, and we often try to avoid them. And apologies are meant to show others that you are sorry for hurting them. Any time two people are in a relationship - whether it’s a friend, spouse, or co-worker - it’s inevitable that you will occasionally hurt each other, regardless of how kind and well-intentioned you are. So you didn’t intentionally do anything wrong, but you still apologized because you hurt the person.Īnd that’s exactly why we should apologize to the people we know. Mistakes happen, and because it’s dark and the aisles are close together, it’s bound to happen. If you walk in the aisle at a movie theater and you accidentally step on a stranger’s toes, what’s the first (and usually the only) thing you say? “I’m sorry.” ![]()
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